just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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