he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
whose parrot is this?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
