I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
