You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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