I need to stop coming to work sober
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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