Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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