I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you had me at cake vodka
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
