I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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