rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
