Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
