I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
