After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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