normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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