he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
