i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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