Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
