She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
