If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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