I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
be right there i have to get my cape
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
