Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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