He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
