If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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