Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
