Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize