My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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