Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
