And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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