she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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