You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
