did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're a waste of cheezeits
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize