that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
