her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
