She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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