i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you will always have a special place in my vag
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
