is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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