My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
