her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I enjoy the company of your penis
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
