Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
