Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
