i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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