we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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