Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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