guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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