There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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