Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
