Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
