U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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