just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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