I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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