So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
