Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
