How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Couch. On fire.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
