nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
