You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
