my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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