So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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