I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
