Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
