NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
