Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm at about main and main street
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
