Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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