He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
