Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
