At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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