the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dick very happy bro
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
